There’s something about the airport that drives even the sanest person completely and utterly stark-raving mad. Look at the queues for any check-in desk and you’ll see groups of people with throbbing temples and narrowed eyes.
And it’s easy to see why. From the check-in desk to the departure lounge, you’ll be given more security checks and pat downs than a criminal mastermind in a maximum security cell.
Amidst the suspicious eyes and bizarre questions (“Do you plan to bring fruit into the country? Is there a baby iguana secreted in your luggage? What existential fulfilment do you plan on achieving during your flight?”) you’ll have to sit in departure lounges that seem purpose-built to send you into a coma.
According to various surveys, most people reckon a trip to the airport is more stressful than moving house or going to work. Yet, in between the flustered passengers and bellicose security staff, there are some people who glide through the airport without a care in the world
These are the centres of calm in a broiling storm, passing through security checks with a dopamine Zen. What’s their secret?
The answer is preparation. Instead of rushing to catch flight at the last minute, they’ve taken every opportunity to make their flight as simple as possible.
So we’ve come up with a few ways on how you can be just like them. Give them a go and you’ll be able to chill out before you board your plane.
Sort out your parking
Parking at the airport is a bit like a driving test with guaranteed failure. You’ll drive around multi-storey car parks, only seeing spots that are filled to the brim. It’s hardly the ideal way to start your trip, eh?
That’s why most large airports will allow valet companies to help with overfill. Airport meet and greet services – in which a valet will take your car at your terminal, driving it to a safe location awaiting your return – are available in a number of airports, from Gatwick to Stansted and beyond.
Hit the fast lane
Those schmucks queuing to board a plane look like they’re about to explode with rage. Yet you’ll see much calmer people who, for a slight increase in their ticket price, can take their seat without having to queue. If you’re willing to pay a little more, take their example.
Very Important Lounging
Departure lounges are bundles of misery, greyer than a dowdy accountant and more packed than a compressed tin of salmon. But large airports provide VIP departure lounges. These will provide you with a ton of luxury features, including:
- Widescreen tellies
- Complimentary magazines, newspapers, teas and coffees
- Activities for the kids
- And much more.
So if you want to fly in style, you know what to do.